My pot of gold.

I know it’s just a small amount of time. Just a phase. And thank God for that. But wow… has it been a hard two weeks.

Our 4th of July celebration came to a screeching halt when my husband was hit in the eye with a “birdy” while playing badminton. Sounds like a harmless injury, but aside from the intense pain, he was blind for three days in one eye and unable to function for much longer. While he was laid up in bed, our bathroom toilet overflowed and ran into our bedroom, soaking the carpet. Due to his injury, we were not able to pull up the carpet until 5 days later.

4th of July 2010

Our home looks chaotic right now. Our bedroom is almost empty, with pieces of carpeting everywhere. The tiny guest bedroom is filled with tons of furniture, bedding, dresses, clothes, etc. Things that were in the guest bedroom previously have made a temporary home in the living room. There’s clean laundry everywhere, and my girls’ room looks a mess. And it’s all reminiscent of my brain.

My brain feels like that right now. Like a mess. But an organized mess. Or at least one I’m trying to get organized.

Tonight, I confessed to my hubby that I’m feeling very base right now. In that, I mean, I’m tired of just reacting. I want to be intentional in the way I respond to everything. It’s a hard thing to do when you’re exhausted and there’s no rest in sight. I don’t want my words to just rush out of me, but I want to make each one intentional. Purposeful. Life-giving.

This has been an incredibly hard year for us. I don’t think details are necessary here. But this week, was definitely the kicker. Like a punch in the gut, like a knock to the knees when you’re just thinking you can stand up. I cried the entire way home from the ER on July 4th because I thought my husband had lost his eye sight. I cried days later because I was in over my head. I didn’t feel like a good mommy, and that is the worst.

Today I went grocery shopping, helped promote a local cause, did laundry, connected with my babies a tiny bit more than I have in the past week, worked on the worship set for church this weekend, cleaned the kitchen, made several meals,  and had several phone conversations all based around the fact that the birth-date on my mom’s headstone is wrong. All in a normal day for us now, I guess.

So how do I find the romance in this new ordinary? How do I learn how to not just tread water in this new terrain, but actually swim towards something? How do I keep my eyes to the mountains where my hope is when I’m having an awfully hard time getting my eyes off of myself?

Well first, I kissed my husband. That always helps.

And then he told me that I should read my Bible, Psalms specifically, and he’s the wisest person I know. He reminded me that it’s a book full of the most highest praise for God and the most heart-wrenching pleas from His people. Great pains mingled in with moments at the feet of our Creator while He binds up our wounds.

I invite you to join me, all you weary and heavy- hearted. There’s a lot of you out there tonight. I see it on facebook. I see it on twitter. I see it on the news. I hear it when I speak with you. Open up your Bible with me to Psalms chapter 1 and let’s see what treasures God has for us.

I read something tonight written by a friend. You can read it here. There was a quote in it that I loved. “Not all treasure is silver and gold, mate.”- Captain Jack Sparrow.

So let’s get to it then. Let’s see what treasures the Lord has for us.

p.s. This week in Medford there were five murders. In response a group of local moms (firefighters’ wives) started a nonprofit organization. They are raising money to help the victims’ families pay for the funeral/ burial costs. If you would like to know more information on this, please click here.


10 thoughts on “My pot of gold.

  1. Hi,
    I am glad I stopped by and read your blog today, it has been a while. I could feel your sense of overwhelming as you related the past couple of weeks. And I agree with you, your husband is a wise man, and you too. Turning to the scriptures for answers are often the last place we go, but they hold all the answers.
    I know when it rains, sometimes it pours, and doesn’t seem to stop, one thing after another, after another, etc. But it does stop, and life will return to normal. Hard times like this make us really appreciate when things are good. I will put your family in my prayers, God Bless

    1. Good to hear from you again, Jim. Welcome back and thank you for the encouragement. I’m already feeling better with the words of Psalms 1 running through my head. “Blessed in the man…”

  2. Amazing! I have to admit ever since that day I have been thinking of you. I have thought if that were me I would be in pieces crying and then the next minute really really mad. But, every time I see you, you are smiling and even laughing about it all. Then I see this post and find out your intent is not just survive this time but to thrive. I think just getting by during this time would be hard enough, but of course living His way is always best. I love that you are seeking it and I am praying that God meets you in a big way. That is one benefit of bad circumstances is that in my experience God meets you just as big (usually bigger) than the bad ever is.

    1. I have had plenty of moments where I was in pieces crying. It hasn’t been perfect. Far from it. At times, I’ve been ashamed of how I have acted. But on the other side of it, it’s easier to see things. It’s easier to say this is how I WANT to act once the hard time is over.

  3. You continually motivate and lift my spirit Katie. I am continually inspired by your resilience and fearless faith with everything you have faced this year. Know that you and your family are in my prayers always. Thank you for sharing this. It’s beautiful as always.

  4. Oh,katie, this blog spoke to my heart. Oh how I feel the same way this week. This has been the hardest year for josh and I as well. Ive cried a lot more than I thougjt could b possible. But in those tears, ive seen my heart grow…and the unimporant things fade away. Ive let my tears soak the pages of my bible. Ive allowed others to minister to me in a season whete I actually belived the truth,not reject it any longer. I pray and think of u and ur fam. Often, thx for being so real. You r loved…u are chosen. Love u!

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