I’ve been quiet on here for a while. It could be because 2010 and the beginning of 2011 finally caught up with me and I realized that there were just no words. It could be because God is teaching me silence. Or maybe I’m learning to be still.
The season I find myself in is way too important to for me to just react to.
A lot has happened that shouldn’t have. A lot was taken, a lot was lost, a lot was wounded. I have memories I wish I didn’t have and moments I wish I could get back.
But it doesn’t end there. Do you know why? Because I lift my eyes unto the hills. Where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth. I see His love. I see the years He lived as a human, so He could be familiar with all my ways. I see His love so fierce that He took the nails and the whipping and the death to get me through this life. If I ask, “Why didn’t you do something, Lord?” He always responds with, “I did, love. Just look at my hands. See my wounds.“
I see a love that defeated death.
When I am quiet and still and I look up, I see more than words can describe. I don’t know how, but in the midst of all of the terrible that the last 12 months have held, there has also been some of the greatest blessing in my life. I need only look around my home right now for my heart to nearly burst with gratitude. I am so happy. I am so thankful.
When I look up, I see the truth.
The truth of LOVE personified. This has to be my reference point.
Otherwise I would drown in all of the little creeks and rivers that this earth is throwing at me, instead of getting swept up in the current of His great, vast, all consuming love that sweeps me up and above the pain, the confusion, and the anger, and takes me to a greater place.
A place where I can walk on water. Because I can see Him clearly, I can hear Him clearly, and I trust Him unreservedly.
I sang a song for you here. If you watch it, please keep in mind that it was late, I was tired, and that my baby decided to cry uncontrollably everytime I tried to record it because I am apparently only allowed to sing to her and to no one else. But, no matter the quality, the message is the same.
I am a child of God. And that makes all the difference.