If there were credentials for writing this, I would have them:
1. I was a daughter before I was anything else.
2. I am a mother to daughters.
3. I have lost a mother.
These things have everything to do with who I am today. And everything to do with where I’m coming from in this post.
Words have the power of life and death.
My mother affirmed me every day. She told me she loved me, that God loved me, and that God had a purpose for my life. She spoke meaning into my life. She identified my giftings and my strengths. So even when she had a bad day or a bad moment and said something she shouldn’t have said to me, those negative words fell upon a life that had already been cultivated with words of love and purpose. So … I knew that she was just having a bad day and that it wasn’t a real reflection of me.
Do you hear what I’m trying to say?
If I could be granted any wish, it would be that I never said anything to hurt my kids, and that I never failed them. I’m aware of how powerful my roll is in their life and I want to do the best I can do. But by the grace of God go I . . .
This blessing of children is the strangest mixture of purpose and grace and mercy that I have ever experienced.
The power and responsibility that God has given me in these two little lives. These two little girls that will one day be mothers of their own, reflecting what I have taught them. Their children reflecting to their children, and so on through the generations.
As a mother, I have the power to affect a generation.
The greatest gift my mom gave me was knowing that I was loved and had a purpose. This is what got me through peer pressure. The knowledge of something greater, something beyond myself. Of God and His purpose. This is what got me through painful breakups. I had hope beyond today. I knew that God had a plan beyond what I could see. This is how I was able to hold her hand and release her to Jesus on May 18th. This is why I was able to wake up the next morning, take care of my children, my father, my husband, my sisters. This is why I am here today serving the Lord.
Perhaps I would have found my own way down this path, searching after Christ and His truths. But thank God my mother was obedient and revealed the things of heaven to me from day one of my life and every day after. Hear me. She wasn’t perfect. And she knew it better than anyone else. This isn’t about her mistakes.
It was about the life she spoke into me.
Thankfully, she never spoke words of death. She never called me names. She didn’t tear me down. And if she said ,”You’re just like your father” she meant it in a good way.
Mothers, there is so much life that God wants to birth through us, and I’m not speaking about labor. Will you purpose along with me to speak life to your children, to your husband? Instead of saying, “What’s wrong with you?” Ask yourself, “Why is he/she acting that way?” Instead of thinking, “How can I stop that behavior?” Instead ask, “Why is this really happening?”
Sometimes it’s not about crushing an action. Sometimes it’s about revealing what is hidden.
And sometimes it’s about asking for forgiveness. Even from our children.
… to be continued.