do you see what i see?

I commented on a friend’s blog, re-read my comment, and thought… got to write more on this. So here I am.

I was recounting the last time a boy broke my heart, and that it was an incredible gift from God that he had broken my heart. It was in 2001, and I was in a relationship I had NO business being in.

But I was too close to the forest to see how rotten the trees were… 🙂

I believe that God knew my heart, and the desire with which I longed for His will. So He said to that boy, “Get lost, cause she’s NOT yours.” I didn’t see it coming, couldn’t understand. But I didn’t have to because my Savior held it all in His hands. Over and over again saying, “Trust me. I know your true heart. I know what you want. I know what is best for you… just wait a sec…”

And when I lifted up my eyes to the hills, from where my hope comes from… I saw Jesus. And then I saw Nick.

A lot of “trusting Jesus” is trusting Him to make some decisions for us. We say, “yes, He says, “You sure?”, and thus begins in the heart surgery. We cannot get angry at Him for making our dreams come true. Our real dreams. The ones that aren’t tainted by low self-image or heartbreak or sin.

Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart. This doesn’t mean the things that you think you want… but the things that your heart wants… deep down inside… in the part of you that longs to be closer to Jesus… and longs for what’s best. I’m not really talking about just relationships, but everything. The jobs, the friends, the family, the cities, the kids… all of it…

Nick was and is my dream come true. Every part of him.

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5 thoughts on “do you see what i see?

  1. Katie
    thank you for this post. I want to come behind you and yell AMEN! I too, was in a painful relationship that I had no business being in. While I look back and am grateful and thankful now for what I see God was able to use that relationship to teach me and how he was able to use ALL things for good for those who love Him and are called according to His will, I know whole-heatedly that I was acting on my own will and not His. God is gracious and He is ALWAYS looking to pave the way for what is, ultimately, for our best. I am so encouraged by the love you and your husband have for one another. Your bond always uplifts me and reminds me of how much God loves us and is faithful when we trust Him. Much love.
    Jenn

  2. Katie how well I remember the pain you went through. Your mom phoned me and asked me to talk to you. You poured out your heart to me. All I could do was to encourage you in the ways of the Lord. Later you wrote me a letter. I still have that letter. You stated that you wanted to be in the will of the Lord. How precious He is. Love

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